Wearing the Perfect Life
Mask was exhausting.

I was unhappy.

I had much suppressed anger.

I felt guilty for being unhappy and angry because a “good” mom and wife “shouldn’t” feel those things.

I did what I thought I needed. I shoved all the guilt, shame, anger, and sadness down and tried to put a lid on it, then pulled out a smile – one that never reached my eyes.


Wearing the Perfect Life
Mask was exhausting.

I was unhappy.

I had much suppressed anger.

I felt guilty for being unhappy and angry because a “good” mom and wife “shouldn’t” feel those things.

I did what I thought I needed. I shoved all the guilt, shame, anger, and sadness down and tried to put a lid on it, then pulled out a smile – one that never reached my eyes.

Let me rewind a


I thought Life was going to be perfect. Just as I planned as a little girl. I met my husband during my first year of university. Then went to Teacher’s College and got married after completion. Landed on the supply list right after graduation, bought our forever home and two years later had my daughter then a son 3 years after that. Yearly trips to beautiful Hawaii and other tropical destinations, expensive cars, and a family cottage that we visited often.

Let me put this into context. When my beautiful baby daughter was 2 years old, she was diagnosed with Epilepsy. If that wasn’t enough, she was later diagnosed with developmental disability. I felt like the world had crumbled under my feet. It wasn’t until I had my own child with special abilities, did I truly begin to understand how a parent’s life can shift so dramatically in a blink of an eye.

All my dreams of what life would be like when you have a daughter – best friends, sleep overs, marriage, grandchildren, that deep connection – all shattered instantly. I was grieving for the life I would never have with her. I felt like a failure. I felt like I was being punished, both my brothers had 4 kids each with no significant disability. I kept thinking I could’ve done something different when pregnant. It must be my fault.

I would put on the mask that everything was fine.

It wasn’t.

I would cry hard when no one was looking.

Something about my purpose always came up. People would share with me their problems no matter where we would be – grocery stores, lines for stores, even while waiting for the bathroom! People would say I was so positive and always felt better in just talking with me.

It got so humorous that I stopped greeting people with “Hi, how are you?”. Because they would tell me EVERYTHING!

I dove into helping my daughter be the best person she could be, making my life about hers. Constantly researching programs and therapies that would help her be “more normal”. I developed strong bonds with other special abilities moms because they understood me. They understood my struggles. And we would all share things we had learned. A club that none of us signed up for but desperately needed.

When my son was born, I had to adjust my perfect life mask and ensure it was on tight. I felt even more overwhelmed and alone.

All the doctor appointments (which were many), therapy appointments, education choices and daily life of a special ability daughter fell in my hands. Because I was the stay home mom. I hated it really, but it gave me a sense of control and purpose. It became my identity. Making my life about my kids gave me Shadow Power. AND, I didn’t want to give anyone else any of that power. Inside though, I knew something was off.

Trying to balance and normalize my kids life, the household, and being a good wife – I lost myself. I remember waking up at age 37 and wondering who I was. I didn’t know where my family ended and where I began. I had a crippling lack of self-esteem which led me to use food, exercise, and television as a source of escape. I knew I needed something.

Don’t get me wrong, there were many amazing things that happened in my life, like when my daughter medal when she represented Canada in the Worlds Cheerleading competition in the first Special Ability category. Trailblazers. As well as watching my son be such a confident and compassionate young man – always showing great empathy to others.

But I felt something was missing…I didn’t know what.

While navigating the special ability world and being an advocate, I embarked on a journey of health and became a Registered Holistic Nutritionist. This was the first thing I did for myself in 18 years.

It was the beginning of self-discovery, and what I discovered was my inner critic and martyr.

Inside my thoughts would be things like, “You are too old to go back to school. You cannot learn that stuff anymore.

I found that I spent most of my life trying to be perfect instead of authentic.

It was exhausting. I was stressed, overwhelmed and miserable. Being “perfect” was an ugly job.

In the middle of nutrition school, I joined a network marketing company and found my community. A new home. I felt alive for the first time. It was about lifting each other up. I began going on their weekend training trips about connecting, to learn how to build a team of my own. Be independent!

That threw in some salt into the cultural mix!!
My husband and mom asked if “I had joined a cult”. Drank the Kool-Aid.

“I felt like a Fraud.”

“Yo-yoing between my family life and professional life.”

“Never feeling like I was succeeding in anything I did.”

“I felt guilty when I was working because I should be with my family.”

“I felt guilty when I was with my family because hard work was needed in my business to be successful.”

“I worked so hard to try to find balance.”

Little did I know then that I could never have balance doing business and life this way. I had spent so much energy putting different parts of my life into boxes with pretty bows. I recently discovered that balance is more about finding a way to allow it to flow and overlap together because they both have the same highest intention and purpose – empowerment, love, and joy.

I asked the universe for help, and it led me to my first transformational course. I embarked on learning and studying the mind and how it works. This was a pivotal moment in my spiritual awakening. I want to say it was an easy road. But it wasn’t. I talked myself out of believing my gifts. Listening to my Inner Bitch telling me how I wasn’t special and all the “reasonable” explanations to things. Massive denial – I chuckle now when I reflect.

Despite myself, I released so many limiting beliefs and baggage from my past, I knew deep inside there was more for me to learn. I became an International Institute in NeuroLinguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy™, Hypnotherapy and Results Coaching. CEO and Head of Awaken Your Awesomeness. One of my proudest moments.

My daughter started to have some mental problems that led her to be hospitalized, not once, not twice, but three times in less than a year. The latter one had her on a ventilator fighting for her life. I began to doubt everything about myself and what I had learned. If I could not help my daughter, how could I help others. Massive amounts of negative emotions flooded me. Imposter syndrome, guilt, rage, shame, sadness, grief, and many others. I wanted to hide. I wanted to give up.

And the most amazing thing happened. My community of healers not only supported me, but they poured belief into me. They reminded me to use the tools I had gained along the way. It was all about survival at this point.

This moment was the catalyst for my deeper
spiritual awakening and believing in myself.

It is amazing what we will do when one of our children is hurting.
I was open to doing anything to help my daughter.

Upon reflection, I now see everything had been leading me to this point. I surrendered to all possibilities. I surrendered to holding space for my daughter, so she could heal on her own. I couldn’t do it for her – no matter how badly I wanted to. I released the rage, grief, and shame I had been carrying for far too long. I did a lot of inner work with several mentors to release the shadow side that was working hard to dominate my thoughts and energy. I learned how to harness my power and use it safely.

I surrendered to the process of self-forgiveness and self-love. I found that I was able to be more present than ever before. I was able to stand in compassion and love which gave me power. I was able to be the support my husband, son and daughter needed. I released my fear and focused on her healing and being better than ever. Which I am happy to say she is happy and healthy today, as am I.

I am passionate about helping other healers find their own calm and road to their power, within their chaos. Life happens. It isn’t about running away from it but learning how to be firmly rooted so you can sway with the winds – no matter how strong they get.

The power of the healer inside of you will become bolder and stronger when you continue to grow, learn, and expand. It will light you up deep inside, so brightly, that you cannot not follow your purpose. Your mission. Empowering you to become a beacon for others as you trailblaze and create the change you are seeking.

My name is Alison Davies,
and if my story resonates
with you, I’d love to help
you navigate your healing


Let’s Make
Things Happen


Alison Davies