How Healer Burnout and Giver Syndrome takes you away from you Sacred Heart Space.

We all want to feel balanced, whole, and connected to ourselves and the divine. It is the most aligned and blissful feeling as everything is in flow. But many struggle to attain that level of bliss on a consistent basis. You may have taken a course or attended a retreat and you felt amazing at the end. Feeling whole and connected. But then you go back into your day-to-day life, and it seems within a matter of moments you go back to feeling stressed, disconnected, and overwhelmed.

This was my pattern too, until I learned a different way.

I have been speaking with many healers who are burning out or close to it. They have a strong calling to help others and are doing it at expense of themselves. Add the needs of kids, family and household duties and it seems to be never ending. It leads to what I call giver syndrome. When you are always doing for others at the expense of yourself. It may not be something you consciously do, but find yourself doing continuously and you do not know how to stop. Then, there’s the tipping point of exhaustion, the frustration, resentment, taken for granted and thoughts of stopping leading to feelings of guilt, shame, depression, anxiousness – a merry-go-round of emotions.

Burnout can feel like driving a car with one foot on the gas, while the other is on the break. There is this push and pull experience that leads to nowhere.

It feels like nothing you do seems to shift things. All the things that use to work, doesn’t anymore. You may find grounding and centering more challenging. You may then begin to question everything you are doing and your gifts because how can you guide others when you cannot seem to get results yourself. You may begin to feel like a failure or worse, an imposter.

When I experienced burnout last summer I struggled with staying focused. I know to shift my negative thoughts to positive ones because whatever I focus on, I find. I know this. I teach this. Yet I was finding myself having to change my thinking every 30 minutes – it was exhausting. I was happy for my colleagues who were excelling, yet I was feeling jealous that I was working so hard and not getting results. This led to feelings of shame, guilt, and frustration as I knew I am responsible for my results. But my inner critic kept telling me that a healer, never mind transformational trainer, should never feel those. I wanted to quit. Give up. If you are here or have been here, you know how awful that feeling is. But the healer in me couldn’t accept that option. My healer light continued to burn. I asked for help because I knew I couldn’t do it on my own.

Energy in Motion is Emotion

The universe or divine matches your energy. Your unconscious mind filters all the incoming information to match your thoughts. Positive or negative. It is no wonder I couldn’t seem to attract the students or clients I desired. Everything felt hard.

If it seems you are attracting challenging clients or a work schedule that is less than ideal, know it is, in part, your energy. Emotions are energy in motion. You cannot deceive the universe or the divine and hide your true feelings. When someone experiencing a strong emotion walks into a room, their energy is often unmistakable. Think of time when someone was angry or very frustrated. You felt their negative energy from that emotion come off them without them having to say a word, even if you were not looking at them. You felt it because they were emitting a strong signal of energy that carried specific information. Like radio waves, it emits a signal that is received by you and heard as music or talking. The same is true for positive emotions, such as a very sexual person, or a person who has a calm, loving energy. All those energies can be sensed and felt.

With this in mind, it is safe to say that different emotions produce different frequencies. The frequencies of creative, positive emotions like love, joy, and gratitude are much higher than the emotions of stress, such as fear and anger, because they carry different levels of conscious intent and energy.

Understanding this further enforces that continuing to be in a state of burnout helps no one. Not you, your clients, or your loved ones. Nothing changes until something changes.

Giver Syndrome is a sign of lack of Boundaries

Many healers I spoke with shared that taking time for themselves, setting boundaries with others felt…well, selfish. That they did not feel they had time to do something just for themselves. To reconnect them back into their heart space. When they did, they fell asleep and would then beat themselves up that they didn’t “do it right”. But they did not value themselves to make the time. To make themselves a priority.

In my healing practice, I see many healers who do not take time for themselves not because they do not know they need to, but because they are avoiding feeling something. This avoidance tactic is quite successful in not feeling what they need to release. But what many do not realize that this activates their inner critic. If the loop continues day after day, your inner critic becomes louder and louder making it impossible to not be influenced by it – even unconsciously. It may be telling you that you will never be the healer you want to be because you cannot even heal yourself. That was what my inner critic would say to me…and I would believe it when my defences were down. When I was exhausted.

Many healers have difficulties in saying no to the people who come for help. Even when you know you have other family obligations. You may even hear yourself saying, “how can I not help them, that is selfish because I know I can. Just one more. Just one more. Just one more.” This inevitably leads to no time for self – avoidance tactic successful once again.

Whatever you are avoiding is the very thing you need to go inward to heal. Resistance doesn’t allow flow to happen. Resistance makes things hard. Resistance stops you from going into your sacred heart space, to feel.

In my own healing journey, I have discovered I am of greater service to others when I take the time to do my own inner work. The more I expand and deepen my connection, the higher my clients can too. More importantly the ones I love have the capacity to expand and grow alongside me. I see it with my kids and my husband. The things they say and do. The conversations we have clearly illustrate deeper growth and personal understanding. That makes my heart sing. It takes one with courage to be a leader and a healer. Those are the ones that are making the greatest impact.

Lack of boundaries and not making yourself a priority takes you away from your heart space. When you are in your sacred heart space you can listen to the wisdom and guidance of your true path and purpose.

Survival Loop

Nothing beats the feeling of oneness and alignment. It is easy to thrive and inspire others to love themselves again too. But when you are in a perpetual giving circuit, you easily slip into survival loop mode. Over time this leads to feelings of exhaustion, overwhelm, lack of focus, disruption of sleep and become very reactive to situations that do not go as planned.

What many healers are not aware of is that when you give without receiving or recharging, you drain your vital life force. You tap into your own energy reserves to help others. But when the tank runs empty you got to fill it somehow in order to survive. One way is to go inward and heal. If you do not take the time or investment for yourself this inevitably leads you to take it from those you love, as well as clients. As a result of your dwindling life force, you tire easily, and you may experience difficulty to feel connected and deep self-love. You become disconnected from your sacred heart space.

If you are at the point of burnout, ask for help. You are past the point of self-help, no matter who you are and what skills you have. If you could have done it by yourself, you would have by now.

This was a hard lesson for me too, no judgement here. I experienced burnout to the point of depression and thoughts of giving up. But I knew I needed help and was courageous enough to ask for it. I encourage you to dig deep into your courageous heart to know that investing in yourself is the only way to help and save you and your family. For you to thrive and be the leader in your healing community.

I have recently created a guided hypnosis track called Activate You Abundance Codes, that guides you into your heart space and more. If you are open and would like to experience it first hand, you can receive this complimentary hypnosis gift by emailing me at alison@aya.coach.

Make sure to follow on to part 2 of the Sacred Heart Space to learn more about how to surrender to reconnect with yourself.

Love & Sunshine

Alison Davies

Transformational Healer & Trainer

Certified Trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy and Hypnotherapy

Asking for help is a sign of courage. Reach out and book a time to discover your healing journey roadmap. Email at alison@aya.coach or book directly on my calendar. https://calendly.com/awakenyourawesomeness/healing-journey-roadmap-call-